Change Of Perspective

Today's netball practice was more fun than what I expected. Maybe cause I just finished reading a book about sport — football/soccer. That book awakens my sporty side today. I really thought of running 1000m and playing basketball after reading it. The weather today is really scorching hot. But then, it rained a little bit. Most of the people playing at the padang still continued playing. Me and Y.C stayed back for a little while to train our aiming. It was fun even though the weather was hot. I really changed my perspective towards netball game. Y.C is the GS and I'm the GA. I hope I can be more relaxed playing the game. After all, it's just fun and games. As long as you have fun and do the best than you can, it will be okay. I learned that even if we dislike certain stuffs, we must open our heart and give it a chance to know more about it. At the end of the day, we might change our mind and start to like it. Just like netball and me. (✿◠‿◠ )

To all my friends involved in sports,

Good luck and remember — just have lots of fun! (≧ω≦)

☘☘ Gambateh!! ☘☘

❤❤ Be safe!! ❤❤

Muackssz!! (╯3╰)

Ahhh!! I feel annoyed! Well, just a bit. Just a few moments ago, my dad called to our house phone and asked whether me and my bro already had dinner or not. I said no. Then I hang up the phone. Seconds later, my mum called me on my cellphone and asked the exact same question. I said no again. Just when I thought that nobody would call again. Guess what? My aunty called my cellphone again and asking the same question all over again. I said that I was going to cook when the phone rang. Then again, I hang up the phone. Is there such a coincidence? They called me one after another. (⊙_⊙) And I hope they stop worrying so much! Haiz. You maybe think that this is the first time I am home alone where I'm in charge of the house. Well, you're so wrong! This happened hundred times in my life. At an age younger than anyone else, I need to start to take care of myself. Way, way younger than most of the people. Being left alone at home when parents are outstation is a normal thing in my life. Normal. Guess I have to live on my life with it. Sigh. (╯_╰)

Where Rainbows End by Cecelia Ahern

Finished reading a heartwarming novel, Where Rainbows End by Cecelia Ahern who is the bestselling author of PS, I Love You. I borrowed it from the school library. Glad I chose it over some scary storybook. (≧ω≦) I love this story! (❤‿❤)

Click here for more about this novel :

Where Rainbows End

I need a guardian angel.

I need him by my side.

To share everything in my life.

To wipe away my tears when I cry.

To give me a shoulder to cry on.

To pour my hearts out to him.

To make me laugh like I never did.

To make me feel important and not invisible.

To make me feel cared for the first time in my almost 16 years of life.

Where are you, my guardian angel?

When will you come and sweep me off my feet?

But deep inside I know that,

There's no knight in shining armor.

There's no prince charming.

There's no 'happily ever after'.

There's no fairy godmother.

There's no magic to help you change anything you want.

There's only not-so-quite-a-damsel in huge distress.

Life is definitely not a fairytale.

It wasn't then.

It isn't now.

And it isn't going to be in any near future.

BLAH!!

I didn't update this blog yesterday. Oh well, never mind that. I totally forgot that today we got Physics test. Sigh. Another subject go down the drain. Blehh. 

At 2.30pm I got netball aka bola jaring practice for sukan. I tell you that game is SHIT! You can't hold the ball for more than 3 seconds. You can't move when the ball is in your hand. You can't make contact when defending. You must be in your position ONLY. There are a LOT of positions. E.g: GS, GK, GA, GD, C and so on. They told us there's 9 positions. GS only shoot and your moves are limited in the semicircle line. GK is supposed to stop GS from shooting. GA can shoot and move about but not beyond the line in the middle of the field. C is the center and you must run the whole field the whole game but not beyond the semicircle and you can't shoot either. I still can't figure out what GD does. The other positions with 'W' in front of it is to defend. Guess what? Most of what these positions do, I figure them out by myself. Argh! I hate the smell of sweat and a whole lot of perfume mixed together. Well, at least the smell is not coming from me, but it still reeks! If you know 'who' and 'what' I mean. I'm not racist, okay? Anyway, basketball is way, way different than netball! In basketball, if you can, you just do it. In netball, it's different. Then, when you catch the ball in netball, you have to jump and and land on one foot. Doesn't that seems awkward and funny and hilarious and silly? It is to me. I hate it. I hate netball. I rather be knocked out during a basketball game than playing a netball game. It's sooooo boring! There's nothing worth excited for in netball game. I think the one who invented netball is a bore himself/herself! I wanted to knock my head on the wall when playing. Netball game is a bore! Hate it! Hate it! Hate it! GS(goal shooter) can be Goal Shit and GK can be Goal Kanasai! That game is so boring that it makes coffee go to sleep, if you get what I mean. I wanted to change to bola baling. At least it seems 100 times way fun than that fucking netball! [sorry, I'm really pissed!] There's a bola baling practice this Friday and I hope to try it out first.

Another thing, I told you in the previous posts that my mum had to go work outstation at 5-7 May, which is next Wednesday until Friday. Guess what?! They changed the date and mum will be going work outstation earlier, that is from next Monday till Thursday. Then, tomorrow mum also have to go to Kuching to have a meeting. Sigh. My life doesn't get any better than this. I hate this. I hate being left alone. When I'm alone I start to think stupidly and do something stupid. I felt unwanted and abandoned and lonely and invisible. It's like I'm not even exist in this family. Blehh! Whatever! It's official — my life sucks! :(

Not gonna say goodbye cause you'll be hearing me ranting again and again and again in this little blog of mine. :(

We can't turn back time and change the past.

We can't predict and foresee the future.

What we can do is to live, love and laugh in this present.

Cherish every moment in our live — even in times of weaknesses.

Live life, love life.

❤❤❤❤❤
See ya. (◕‿◕)
✗⚪✗⚪✗

I was bored so... :)

[ I'm bored of being bored. ]

 

[ Miz u Miz u Muacks <3 ]

[ Blek ]

Sayonara❣ (✿◠‿◠) 

✗⚪✗⚪✗

It has been a few weeks since my bro went to study in Sibu. My dad also continue his study in Kuching. Only left me, my mum and my older bro in my house now. It's been hard for me to adapt to this new condition. I felt a heavy burden placed on me. I don't know if I can handle it. Sometimes, when my mum went to work outstation, I had to skip school. Now you know why I don't come to school frequently nowadays. My mum is going to work outstation again on the 5-7 May. Don't know if i will be going to school those days. Haven't discuss it yet. I really don't like skipping school. I had to work extra hard when I'm back to school after that. Huh... My life's hard these days. Other than that, I need to limit my activities. Sometimes, I can't go out on Saturdays cause my mum had to work overtime to earn money. Did I mention that my bro in Sibu, my dad in Kuching and us here in Miri are currently living only by my mum's salary? I mean all our expenses. So I don't blame my mum. When my mum is working overtime, I'm at home taking care of my older bro. [What? You sure you didn't typed it wrong?] YES. I DON'T TYPE IT WRONGLY. I had to take care of my older bro. You might be wondering why, right? Well, my older bro is sick. He has epilepsy. Sounds familiar? Cikgu Ursula used to talk about it in class. It's in our textbook. He wasn't born epileptic. He became how he is now when he was two years old. That time, he was the only child and my parents was at work. He was left in the care of a kakak at home. Suddenly, he got a high fever and it was too late when my parents brought him to the hospital. Thus, he became like that ever since and had to go on medication. It has been 19 years since then. Now at the age of 21, he still needs his medication. A normal person would be studying at a college or university at that age. But not my bro. Now he goes to the Sunflower Center with all the special kids like him. So when people jokes around about the people in Sunflower Center, I get really mad. They're still human okay? They have more human rights than you brainless people! Anyway, back to the topic. My life now is a sad case. Tell you people a secret. I sometimes cry secretly in class. That's why sometimes you see me being alone in my place and saying that I 搞自闭. Well, if I'm not, you'll be seeing me crying my eyes out in class. Haha. That's all I can write right now. This post is getting too long. So i'll stop right here for now.

Sayonara... (◕‿◕✿)

✗❍✗❍✗

Sometimes it wont hurt to cry and just let go.

Just remember to smile again after the rain.

Can anyone save me from being my old self?

My past is drowning me.

I don't wanna go back to where I'm before.

Will anyone pull me out of this darkness?

Rescue me.

To : L.J.Y

I've decided not to remember you anymore.

I want to get you outta my head and my life right now.

I thought our friendship is stronger than this.

But the fact is, it's not.

I known you since primary one.

Back then, we're both 7 years old.

Now, we're both 16.

We've known each other for 9 years.

Our friendship should be stronger.

We didn't contact each other for a long time after I moved.

I thought you will still be the same person that I used to know.

Never thought that you've changed.

I don't even know who you are anymore.

I think we should continue being strangers.

I don't want any of us to get hurt of each other anymore.

For our sake, it's better to end this friendship for a while right now.

But still, I wished someday you will realized and change back to the L.J.Y that I used to know.

If you do change, I would still be glad to be your friends again.

Then, we can start over our friendship again.

I don't want to lose a friend forever.

I still hope when you turn around, I'll be standing there welcoming you back.

I will miss all our childhood memories-happy times and sad times.

From now on, I will forgive what you've done to me.

I hope you will forgive me for being mad at you too.

Let our past be our past.

Let's move on with our lives.

I hope someday we will meet at the cross road again.

I hope by then you will wake up from this nightmare.

I will miss you, old friend.

I did. I still do. And I will do.

May God bless you along your road.

Goodbye for now.

✿Hugs and Kisses✿

❤✗❍✗❍✗❤

As time passes by, people grew apart from each other.

But I will always miss you.

I'm tired. I'm tired of being used for other people's benefits. You think I'm so stupid that I don't notice it? Well, you're so wrong! I hate you all! You're bitches!┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ I hate myself for saying 'yes' and not 'no' to anything you say. Why am I being nice anyway? I'm tired of being nice. If I can, I don't want to be a nice person anymore! (╯_╰)

Shugo Chara!

 

I watched a few episodes of Shugo Chara! last year on Crunchyroll. Then I was busy with PMR and forgot about it until just now! I really wanna catch up with this anime but I'm tired of waiting the video to buffer. I wish I can buy the VCD/DVD. Shugo Chara! now is having it's second season. I got a lot of catching up to do. (T.T) Here's a summary about this anime:

Amu Hinamori is a 5th grade transfer student who is fashionably cool, tough and independent. Despite this, she is also a girl who seems unapproachable, both at home and at school. In reality, the "Cool and Spicy" role she plays is just a facade that she unconsciously plays. In fact, like most other girls, Amu is childish, timid and romantic. Desperate to behave the way she really feels, she goes to bed one night praying for a miracle to happen. Much to her surprise, she wakes up the following morning to find three decorated eggs on her. From that morning on, Amu is shocked to find herself starting to behave the way she really feels. When each egg hatches, a little Guardian Character emerges to help Amu express her different selves; Ran, Miki, and Su. Her Guardian Characters aid Amu in discovering who she truly is and help fulfill Amu's dreams. Amu's life becomes much more complex as she struggles to deal with her "would-be" selves and the Seiyo Elementary's Guardians, who recruit Amu to search for X Eggs and X Characters, the corrupted forms of peoples' dreams.

Kaichou wa Maid Sama!

Currently waiting for Maid Sama! Episode 4 on Animax. :) Can't wait!

Summary :

Once an all boys school, Seika High, a renowned school full of reckless and filthy students, has recently become a co-ed school. However, with the female population still remaining a minority even after the change over the recent years, Ayuzawa Misaki takes it into her own hands to reform the school and allow a chance for the girls to feel safer in the rough environment.

Training, studying and even becoming the first female student council president of the school, Misaki has gained a reputation, among the male students body as an uptight boy-hating demon dictator and as a shining hope for the teachers and fellow female students. However, despite her tough-as-nails appearance, she secretly works part-time at a maid cafe in order to support her family. Unfortunately, her secret is soon revealed when the somewhat impassive Usui Takumi, a popular boy at school, nonchalantly discovers her in a maid uniform after school.

Credits to Manga Fox for the summary of this anime. :)

True Friend || Best Friend

True friend tell you the truth about everything and never keep a secret from you. 

Best friend are best when having fun and all the happy times. 

True friend will notice even a tiny change in you. 

Best friend may not even care about what change you have. 

True friend never and wont hurt your feelings. 

Best friend may hurt your feelings deep even with the simplest word. 

True friend is there through thick and thin. 

Best friend may vanish into thin air when you face hardships. 

True friend is true to themselves and true to you. 

Best friend may be true to themselves but they're not true to you. 

True friend will join you even when you're in a big mess.

Best friend will make you feel worst when you make a mess.

True friend will give you hugs and care for you.

Best friend will say they care but they actually don't even care in their heart.

True friend is just a phone call away even during the midnight.

Best friend will just doze away in their dreams.

True friend is there for you as a person.

Best friend may be there for you as in your money and your stuffs.
True friend never ask for anything in return.

Best friend may ask for rewards just for being a friend.

True friend will go to the ends of the earth to find what you need.

Best friend will search for it but give up a few seconds later.

True friend will treasure friendships and never forget them even after a few decades.

Best friend will only remember your face and forget your name.

True friend will be the first one to apologize for anything.

Best friend? Maybe not.

True friend is hard to find.

Best friend can be anyone around you.

So who's the better friend?

The ones who smile with you, laugh with you, cry with you, going crazy with you and always have your back?

Do you have a person who's all of the above?

Well, if you do, then you're a lucky person.

Remember to treasure that friendship so that you wont ever regret it.

For me, I'll keep searching until I find the ones who will accept me for who I am, not for what I have.

Joke...

A pig fell in love with a chicken. The chicken kissed the pig's hand. The next day, the pig and the chicken was found dead. Doctor diagnosed that the chicken died of swine flu while the pig died of bird flu.

Tonight's really funny, I was on facebook and then 2 person chat with me at the same time. They're just playing around. Really funny. Haha. XD

After mass at Carmelite Chapel, we went to Morsjaya to shop for groceries. I was waiting for my mum in the car. I felt bored so I looked outside the window. There at the little playground, I saw an old elderly man, playing at the see-saw, alone. The playground was empty. Not a single person except the old man. I felt sad. Then, we went to the fish market at the town area. I saw the same scene again. An abandoned elderly man. Sitting at the roadside. Not far from where the man sit, I saw two women, one with a baby girl and another with a little boy. They're sitting in front of the shops. The baby girl was let sleeping on the floor. Again, I felt sad and tears started running down my cheeks. A lot of people walked by them. Some noticed them but did nothing at all while others just walked pass them like they're not there. What's happening to humans these days? Helpless people are abandoned, neglected and deserted anywhere. Especially the elderly ones. Do we humans have no sympathy at all? If so, I rather die than being a heartless human.


人的良心都被狗咬走了吗?

For My Dearest Friends...

You're never alone, I'm always near,
When your troubled, down or blue.
All you have to do is call me,
I'm always here for you.
It doesn't matter where I'm at,
It doesn't matter when.
When you need someone to talk to,
I'm here to be your friend.
If you need someone to hold your hand,
or a hug to say I care.
If you need a shoulder to cry on,
for you I will be there.
So never think you are a burden,
when the weight gets to be to much.
You might find if look hard enough,
a good friend could be the right touch.
You're never alone, I'm always here,
through the good times and the bad.
I'm always here to be your friend,
I hope you too will be the same to me.

Poem... #3

My dearest foolish friend, will you never learn
Will you never learn to trust in our friendship
Will you never understand what friendship is
Are you so very untrusting, so withdrawn
that you cannot see what is right in front of you
Can you not see that real friends never turn away
Never abandon the other during times of crisis
Never seek to hurt the other, nor give pain at any time
Friends are those that bond together and stay together
The truest of friends share their innermost secrets
the good, bad and ugly that others would not understand
A friend will never judge or make the other
feel less than what they truly are
A friend wants only what is best for the other
and always forgives life's little mistakes
Never lessening who and what they are
Never trying to change what cannot be changed
A friend treasures all that is given to them
in words, thoughts, feelings and expressions of the heart
Only one that cares will listen to your deepest thoughts
only a friend will hold these things to their heart
and know that they are special because they are from you
These things and oh so much more
are what the truest, purest form of friendship are about
A friend will give strength in your weakest moments
be your rock and strongest ally never waning
A friend will be there for you
in this time and space and even into the afterworld

So dearest friend, treasure what you have
never take it for granted, never assume
never be anything but what you are - a friend
special because you are who you are.

Poem... #2

Never will I understand,
Why my love, denies my hand.
What pain, what suffering have you endured?
With my help, can you be cured?
My thoughts, my dreams, you re always there,
When will you see how much I care?
Such little time I ve spent with you,
Enough to know my love is true.
The further you drift away from me,
The more I feel I ll never be free.
Perhaps I should just let you go,
Your love maybe, I should not know?
My love and friendship is always here,
And if you should ever shed a tear,
My arms are here to hold you tight,
For I will always be your light.

Poem... #1

Friendship is the kind of love
that never can grow old.
Warm and cozy it will stay
when other things are cold.
Friendship is a love so true
it won't be denied,
Because a friend will always be
there close by your side.
Boyfriends and lovers come and go
in this game of life we play,
But a true friend, no matter what,
in your heart will always stay.
So hold these friends dear to you,
and never let them go.
Think how much they mean to you,
and make sure to tell them so.

14.04.2010

Today is the first time I see someone show middle finger. [you know who you are =D] It was because the guys sitting in front threw her book. She got angry and showed the finger. I was shocked cause I never seen her do that. Haha. Aww, too bad Lian Ling missed it. Lian Ling, maybe there's a next time when she will repeat it again. Then you have the chance to see it. XD

Another thing. The weather today is freaky. One minute, it's so hot. Another minute, it rained. Why oh why are you playing with us Mother Nature? o.O

I <3 playing in the rain.

So disappointed in YOU... :\

How come you judge me by my appearance?
Yes, I'm short.
Yes, I'm thin.
Yes, I look like a kid.
Yes, I look like I can't do anything.
But,
NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER!
I'm small.
But the fact is I can do anything I want.
Even sports.
I've joined basketball team and went to competitions.
I've joined badminton team and went to competitions.
I love sports even though I'm small in size.
And I know I'm better in sports than you. [This is a fact.]
Try to dare me if you like.
I'm so disappointed to know that YOU are this kind of a person.
So JUDGMENTAL!
I hate this side of you.
Maybe all of you never seen me when I'm really pissed.
Except my family.
Well, I tell you first to not to look down on me and judge me before really knowing me.
If you do, well, there's two fate for you.
One, when I'm in good mood, I'll forgive you.
Two, when I'm moody, you're in deep trouble.
You'll face my RAGE!

To all the judgmental people out there,
STOP LOOKING DOWN ON OTHERS!
YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN SHIT!

Headaches!!! Go away and leave me alone!!

Lately having headaches almost everyday...
Don't know what's happening to me...
Sometimes it hurts so bad that I can't move...
Is it normal or there's something in my head?
I don't want to live my life taking panadol every time it hurts... :(

What's happening to me??

Journey From Miri To Sibu

The whole journey to Sibu was not a nice experience... The road is bumpy and have lots of pot holes on it... It was like a roller coaster ride but without the fun... The worst part was that my dad drove the car at 120 km/h when the speed limit was only 50 km/h... Beside that, my dad continue to overtake other cars even though it is double-line road and there's a few huge trailer and bus in front of us... My mom thought that she'd get a heart attack because of it... I also screamed a couple times to my dad cause it's really dangerous... Hmm, I think that my dad should consider joining the F1 team after he retired... Wakaka! Just joking.. >.<

Back To Sibu... Swim Swim Swim!!

We managed to take a swim at the swimming pool here at RH Hotel... 

Pictures by me (not edited):

My brother who is going to start his college life tomorrow... Jia you, Gor!

My family in water...

Pictures by my brother:

My family...

The swimming pool...

Me... (after showering)

Back To Sibu... First Day

Just check in at RH Hotel Sibu. This hotel got swimming pool. Yay! =D Hope tomorrow can go swim swim swim. :) Below are some pictures taken from the hotel room. By the way, the view is SPLENDID!! BEAUTIFUL!! But due to my poor photography skills, you can't see it... Haha... ENJOY... :)

School Concert Third Day...(Late Post) =.=

Posting the pictures taken during school concert with friends...

What my heart feels...

What my heart feels right here, right now...

Reminiscing My Past....

It's raining outside when I wrote this...

The rain makes me think about my past...

I was born in Kuching. When I'm about 40 days old, my family moved to Sibu. So I didn't have the chance to know Kuching that much. Sibu... It's a place where my childhood memories were buried. I grew up there. I remembered my primary school, 天真小学. Nice name for a primary school right? I had many childhood friends back then. We knew each other since kindergarden. But there's one friend that I won't ever forget. Her name's Tang Niin. We're best friends then and now. I remembered we used to hang out at each others place but mostly hers. At school, we joined the same club - Dance Club and Choir. We sing, dance, perform and do everything together. She was the sister that I never had even though she's just a few months older than me. I still miss her lots.

When I'm in primary four, my family moved to another house. I had to leave my school cause it's a long journey back and forth from school to the house. I was sad cause I had to leave my dear friends. I started schooling at 敦化小学 when I started primary five. On the first day, I walked into the wrong classroom. I was supposed to be in 5B but I was so nervous that I walked into 5C. It was not until recess that I realized that I walked into the wrong class. How did I know? Well, the 5C class teacher brought me to the principal's office. And that's how I know. It was so embarrassing. During recess, the 5B class teacher brought me to class. I met new faces and I get along with them quite fast. Especially our class's monitor and assistant monitor. They're both girls. The monitor was great in sports while the assistant monitor was excellent in academics. Great combination. They were the first to befriend with me on the first day of school. By then, I had accepted the fate that I had to leave my old friends behind.

Three months after I started schooling in new school, fate was playing around and toying with me again. Either mum or dad had to be transferred here to Miri. I was very upset. Why is fate toying my life again and again and again? I'm just a kid for goodness sake! But still, I had to go through all this 'Goodbyes' by myself. I can't do anything to stop it. 

Alas, all this separation mold me to who I am now. I'm afraid to open my heart and be closer to people. It's easier to say 'Goodbye' when there's nothing holding you back and your heart wont hurt so much doing that. I became a cold person cause of all those tears and goodbyes. 

So you see, I'm the victim of the situation...

When you love someone, you're wiling to be hurt for their sake.