I just wanna be alone quietly in a daze and talk to no one.
Sometimes when uneasy feelings surround me,
the heart starts to rain and desperately trying to find a way out.
Sometimes I realized that people around me doesn't seem to understand me,
having to face them make me feel speechless.
Sometimes I felt like out of tune with the world,
the things that I insisted on just become nothing overnight.
Sometimes I desperately wanted to leave my present life,
just simply pack all my stuffs and go astray.
Sometimes when someone suddenly says that I've changed,
my feelings just start to tangled up and messed up.
Sometimes I just wished that time would stop,
so that I can always be in the moment that I don't wanna lose.
Sometimes when I felt vulnerable and weak,
I wanted to hide in the shadows where no one can see my wounds.
Sometimes I just felt like breaking down crying,
but the overwhelming sadness wouldn't let me.
Sometimes during the cold silent night,
I can feel the sense of loneliness deep inside my bone.
Sometimes the heart have plenty of words to say,
but I'm just clueless on how to express it.
Sometimes when I felt empty,
it feels like the whole world has just abandoned me.
Sometimes when there's bunch of friends around,
I felt lonely and left out in the midst of all the sound.
Sometimes I just felt like letting go,
to drunk myself real bad just for once.
Sometimes when I think about all of my dreams,
can't help but to think that I'm powerless to do anything.
Sometimes when I can't find things to busy myself,
the feeling of lost and emptiness came back to haunt me.
Sometimes I suddenly found myself,
being lost on my own.
Sometimes the heart feels weary,
and I felt myself dying of over-exhaustion.
Sometimes when I can't see myself in the future,
I become blank and confused.
Sometimes in just one night,
I felt myself changed out of old self.
Sometimes when I heard an old song,
I suddenly think of that one person that I missed so much.
Sometimes when people misunderstood my words,
the heart just drops into a deep dark black hole.
Sometimes I just got lost in old memories,
there's so much that had happened in the past that I still couldn't figure out why.
Sometimes I long for concerns and cares,
longing for a simple happiness even if it's just for a little while.
Sometimes when I watch the time slowly passing by,
can't help to feel that there's nothing that I can do and that I am helpless.
I can't smile like nothing is wrong,
talk like everything is perfect,
act like it's all just a dream,
and pretend like it's not hurting me.
I just can't,
cause that is not me.
No matter how hard I tried to hide or change it,
it just won't happen.
If I managed to change,
it wouldn't be me.
If I managed to change,
I would lose myself.
I would be a puppet,
controlled by a puppet-master.
A robot,
that has no emotions or feelings.
A shadow,
with no sense of existence.
A body,
without a soul.
A speck of dust,
fluttering aimlessly in the big blue sky.
In the end,
I would be nothing.
Cold and quiet is my nature.
I've lived with it for plenty of years.
So please bear with me on this.
Cause that's just the way that I know how.
Whatever actions that I've take,
that make you think that I don't care,
whatever words that I've said,
that hurts you unintentionally,
For that and everything else that irritates or annoys you,
I am sincerely sorry for what I've done.
I am sorry a billion times in advance to you,
before I do stuffs that makes you unhappy.
I'm really sorry.
From the bottom of my heart.
But one thing you should know,
although I'm not good with words,
I am always there to lend an ear.
Although I'm bad at making people smile,
I am always there to lend my shoulder.
Although I'm clueless and blunt,
I am always there to lend my hands.
Please keep in mind that,
whenever you needed comfort,
I'm just a phone call away.
PS: When you can't reach me in any way,
I hope you'll come to me,
Cause I may need your comforts too.
After all,
we're perfectly imperfect.
❤ you all.
