After finished watching the drama, I went to my room and idk why but I suddenly remembered that I've kept a diary. Can't believe that I had forgotten about it. It's like my life's book and I somehow manage to forget it?! What a fool I am.. :( So when I unlocked it, I noticed that my last entry is like March of 2010? O_O OMG! It's already end of September now! I FORGOT about my diary for about half a year??!!! OMFG! So then, I started to read back all of my entries in the past. I started keeping the diary when I'm in Primary 5! lmao. XD Yeah, so I've got lotsa "stuffs" hidden in there.. :X But then, i noticed that my entries from end of 2009 till 2010 is different than the one's from the entries few years back. How different? Well, let's just say that I used to be happier back then? I start to reminisce in my mind all the moments I've recorded in the diary and well, I can't hold back from tearing. I've been thinking about all that I've heard people said about me and I guess it's true that I've changed. Change. It's a big word to me. Back then, I didn't believe anyone including myself would change. But reality hits me hard and I realized that everyone is changing, no matter how much you wanna stay the way things are or used to. Time, place, the people around us, friends, enemies, friendship and everything else does change. It can change. And as the time pass by, memories big or small, happy or sad, are locked behind the subconsciousness of our mind, waiting to be freed once again. I guess that's what happened to me last night. I cried. Well, silently of course! Don't wanna wake people up! I think I've cried myself to sleep cause I didn't recall I've stopped crying. So I ended up waking up this morning with swollen eyes. o-o Yeah, call me emo or stereotype me whatever you want but at least I have more emotions than some so called "humans" which are robots! At least I am true to my emotions and feelings. Hmm. Haven't been crying for a long time. Maybe crying is a good thing for me, as I can let go of all the problems and stuffs that I got going on that troubles me. It's either crying or I'm gonna choose letting my rage out? Well, someone's gonna get seriously hurt if I let go of my rage. Think I'll stick to crying. ;) At least I can feel like a weight has been lifted after that. Who knows? Maybe God will answer prayers that I've said while I'm crying. Hmmm. :')

PS: I realized that I have lotsa stuffs suppressed within me.

I gotta learn to forgive and let go.

Gambateh! :D