Dear God, why do You give me all these test to me? I'm not strong enough to face them. Besides, I'm only 16. I'm still young and immature. How can You expect me to pass these tests? I know You are the all-knowing God, but why me? Why did You pick me? I wish I know the answer. I'm not as strong and tough as You think I am. I'm pretty sure You're aware of that. I know all these years You are testing me. I know. But I can't go on like this anymore. I can't shove all these pain and sufferings down my throat any longer. I can't go through my days pretending that I'm okay. I can't go on bottling up all these stuffs I've been through. You can clearly see that right? It gets harder every day. Do you realize that? I know. Who am I to speak to You like this, but I really can't take it no more. I don't want to feel the way I feel now. I don't want to struggle in living each day. I don't wanna feel like crying all the time. I want to be normal like any other kid. I wish to live a carefree life like other teens my age did. I wish to be happy. I want to be free from all the hows and whys. I want all of these to stop. I want to be just an ordinary girl. Just that simple. I don't wanna go back to being the old me. I don't want to be that girl again. That girl who causes physical pain to herself to cover the emotional pain she's been living with. Please no. Why am I experiencing something that I shouldn't experience in my tender age? Lord, if You are Love, why can't I feel You? Why do I have to struggle while others don't? What have I did in my past lives that made me deserve this? When did my life started to go wrong? Why? Why? Tell me.. why?

Yeah!! I've got a new song for my blog already.. Wow.. It took me almost an hour an a half.. XD Anyway, I hope it loads super fast.. Fyi, my new blog song is No Promises by Shayne Ward.. I like the song the second I hear it.. <3 Please be patience if the music player lags.. It's a nice song to hear.. :]

Gosh.. This is the first time I got sick for almost a week.. It's nothing serious, just a really bad sore throat.. I hate the clumpy feelings I got on my throat.. So hard to ignore it.. Then today I started to cough.. @_@ Ugghhh.. I hope I will be cured before the start of school holiday which is T minus 11 days from today!! Gahhhh!! I wish I had a time remote controller.. So that I can fast forward it to school holiday.. Heehee.. :D But that's nonsense and impossible anyway.. I wouldn't count on it too.. I've seen movies with people using a time remote controller.. Like any other gadgets, the controller got a glitch too.. The guy ended up fast forwarding his life when he didn't intended to.. The guy fast forwarded until he's old, sick and almost dying.. But then, in the end he got back to his old, young-and-not-sick life again and appreciate every single second that he had with his family.. The guy is played by Adam Sandler and I watched the movie on AXN.. A nice movie.. :)

Oh! And my mum made me some homemade juice..

PS: Papaya and apple are not a good mix for a tasty juice.

Been there, done that.

(Well, my mum did it and I had to drink it.)

Blehh.. D:

Geez.. I think my music player is kinda 'dead'.. :\ Why does it takes such a long time to load? I wonder if it has anything to do with this new skin...? Hmmm.. @_@ Maybe it's a sign I should change a new song.. That song, Over It by Katharine Mcphee, I've put it here for quite awhile now.. Okay, so I'll change it later!! :)

PS: I'll be back with a new song!

Heehee :D

Dear You

I'm clueless on what had happened to us

Am I the one doing wrong

Or did we just grow in separate ways

I hope I know the answer

I hope I can change whatever that causes us to be like this

I'm still wishing we're still strong like we used to

Whatever happens from now on

I'll cherished the memories

Everyday that we had

All the good

All the bad
I’ll keep them here inside
All the times that we've shared 

Every place 

Everywhere
You touched my life

But yesterday's gone

We gotta keep moving on
I’m so thankful for the moments

So glad I got to know ya
All the times that we had

I’ll keep them like a photograph
And hold you in my heart forever
I’ll always remember you

Credits to WeHeartIt and MyLife-Is-Like-A-Moonlessnight

PS: Hope there's still friendship forever for us :')

Skin and Rants

Yes! Finally got myself a new skin! Gosh.. It takes me hours to edit all the codes.. Yea.. Old templates are more complicated to edit than the new xml template.. But I'm still using it cause the skins I've found which by the way are super nice are mostly using the old template.. >_< I've worked on this one from around 8pm yesterday till 12.30am today.. :O And I gotta wake up before 6am for church mass at 7am.. :X Hmm.. I'm not quite satisfied with this new skin tbh.. idk why.. :( prolly I'll change it again.. :D

Oh yeah.. And btw, my finals are just over two days ago.. And I can tell you that my results is definitely not gonna be pretty horrible unthinkable.. 

一定抬不起头来的!

Haha XD Hmm.. I gotta go from pessimistic to optimistic.. I really do.. Besides, I've been through failing and caning.. Kinda used to it already.. Prolly.. Maybe not.. o_O And I've been sick for the second week of the finals.. I'm now still on medications.. >_<"

And!! Another two weeks is the start of something new the long awaited school holidays!! Yippee!! My two weeks vacation with my family is coming soon! Can't wait! :D 

Gee.. I really have nothing to do right now.. Wait! I wanna go to the movies! And shopping window shopping! XD Hmm.. I also wish somebody would organize a primary school class reunion or gathering or something.. It's been ages since I have seen some of you! But please don't do it during my family vacation though.. Or else I'll miss out.. Fyi, it's 28/11 till 12/12.. Then we're gonna go back to Limbang from Christmas!! Yay!! I love Christmas!! :)

OMG.. You see!! I'm ranting again on my post! :/ Okay.. I'll stop ranting now.. 

Credits: Obsequious

PS: I'm a person who loves to rant!!

Well, mostly in my blog.. XD

K. Thanks. Bye.

Expectations VS Reality

So true.. 

Reality is never pretty.. :(