Jung Yong Hwa from C.N. Blue

Okay.. I got a problem.. I have a major crush on this guy in the picture above!! How'd I know it? The reason: I started collecting all his wallpapers as much as I can. OMG! Can't believe I'm actually fangirl-ing about a singer/actor.. o_O oh well, I love him!! He's in a korean indie rock band, C.N. Blue (Code Name Blue).. An indie band is different from a singing group.. Indie band plays instruments and can sing very well and independent while a singing group just sing and well, dance.. o_o no offence though.. I think this is the first k-rock indie band that I've heard debuting.. Does that makes sense to you? >_< Yeah, so I actually start to crush on Yong Hwa oppa from the k-drama I watched, "You're Beautiful".. Sad for him in the drama.. The girl she loves doesn't fall for him.. TT^TT Made me cry.. lmao.. yeah, I'm crazy and retard like that.. Okays.. Gonna post a song from the drama and the lyrics as well! Enjoy it!! :)

난 바보라서 그런가봐
nan baboraseo geureongabwa
아프게 해도 괜찮은가봐
apeuge haedo gwaenchanheungabwa
못난 사랑이라 놀려대도
motnan sarangira nollyeodaedo
어쩔 수 없는 바보라서..
eojjeol su eomneun baboraseo..
내 가 원해 잘해줬던걸
naega wonhae jalhaejwotdeongeol
그것만으로 행복했던걸
geugeotmaneuro haengbokhaetdeongeol
한번이라도 웃어주면
hanbeonirado useojumyeon
그 미소로 행복해..
geu misoro haengbokhae..
그녀가 사랑한 사람 없겠다니
geunyeoga saranghan saram eopgetdani
이렇게 그녀곁에서 있을뿐야
ireoke geunyeogyeoteseo isseulppunya
줄 수 있어 행복 사랑이라
jul su isseo haengbok sarangira
아무것도 바라지 않아..
amugeotdo baraji anha..
언 제든 손내밀던 닿을 그 곳에
eonjedeun sonnaemildeon daheul geu gose
언제든 불러주면 들릴 그 곳에
eonjedeun bulleojumyeon deullil geu gose
변함없이 그곳에 있어줄게
byeonhameobsi geugose isseojulge
그녀 사랑하니까..
geunyeo saranghanikka..
내가 택한 사람이라서
naega taekhan saramiraseo
아픔까지도 행복했던걸
apeumkkajido haengbokhaetdeongeol
한 번이라도 돌아봐주면
hanbeonirado dorabwajumyeon
난 그걸로 행복해..
nan geugeollo haengbokhae..
그녀가 사랑한 사람 없겠다니
geunyeoga saranghan saram eopgetdani
이렇게 그녀곁에서 있을뿐야
ireoke geunyeogyeoteseo isseulppunya
줄 수 있어 행복 사랑이라
jul su isseo haengbok sarangira
아무것도 바라지 않아..
amugeotdo baraji anha..
언 제든 손내밀던 닿을 그 곳에
eonjedeun sonnaemildeon daheul geu gose
언제든 불러주면 들릴 그 곳에
eonjedeun bulleojumyeon deullil geu gose
변함없이 그 곳에 있어줄게
byeonhameobsi geu gose isseojulge
그녀 사랑하니까..
geunyeo saranghanikka..
나 대신 지켜줄 사람 올때까지
na daesin jikyeojul saram olttaekkaji
잠시만 그녀곁에서 있을뿐야
jamsiman geunyeogyeoteseo isseulppunya
바라봐도 행복한 사랑이라
barabwado haengbokhan sarangira
아무것도 필요치 않아..
amugeotdo pillyochi anha..
언제나 기대쉴 수 있도록
eonjena gidaeswil su itdorok
언제나 같은 모습으로 있을게
eonjena gateun moseubeuro isseulge
인 사도 없이 날 떠나간대도
insado eobsi nal tteonagandaedo
감사하며 보낼게..
gamsahamyeo bonaelge..
난 바보라서…
nan baboraseo…
—————————
I must be like this because I’m a fool
It seems alright even when I’m hurt
Even when I’m teased about my pitiful love
Because I’m a fool beyond help
I was good to her because I wanted to be
I was happy with just that
If she smiles just once
I’m happy with that smile
Thinking “This girl doesn’t have a person she likes”
I simply stay by her side like this
Because this is a love where I’m happy to be giving
I don’t expect anything in return
A place from where I can reach her any time she holds out her hand
A place from where I can visit her any time she calls for me
I’ll stay there without changing
Because I love her
Because she was the one I chose
Even the pain made me happy
If she looks back at me just once
I’m happy with that
Thinking “This girl doesn’t have a person she likes”
I simply stay by her side like this
Because this is a love where I’m happy to be giving
I don’t expect anything in return
A place from where I can reach her any time she holds out her hand
A place from where I can visit her any time she calls for me
I’ll stay there without changing
Because I love her
Until someone else to watch over her in my place arrives
I’ll stay by her side for the time being
Because this is a love where I’m just happy to gaze at her
I don’t need anything in return
So that she can lean on me and rest any time
I’ll always appear the same
Even if she leaves me without saying goodbye
I’ll let her go saying thanks
Because I’m a fool

PS: I heart Jung Yong Hwa!! :D

You should too! lol jk XD

After finished watching the drama, I went to my room and idk why but I suddenly remembered that I've kept a diary. Can't believe that I had forgotten about it. It's like my life's book and I somehow manage to forget it?! What a fool I am.. :( So when I unlocked it, I noticed that my last entry is like March of 2010? O_O OMG! It's already end of September now! I FORGOT about my diary for about half a year??!!! OMFG! So then, I started to read back all of my entries in the past. I started keeping the diary when I'm in Primary 5! lmao. XD Yeah, so I've got lotsa "stuffs" hidden in there.. :X But then, i noticed that my entries from end of 2009 till 2010 is different than the one's from the entries few years back. How different? Well, let's just say that I used to be happier back then? I start to reminisce in my mind all the moments I've recorded in the diary and well, I can't hold back from tearing. I've been thinking about all that I've heard people said about me and I guess it's true that I've changed. Change. It's a big word to me. Back then, I didn't believe anyone including myself would change. But reality hits me hard and I realized that everyone is changing, no matter how much you wanna stay the way things are or used to. Time, place, the people around us, friends, enemies, friendship and everything else does change. It can change. And as the time pass by, memories big or small, happy or sad, are locked behind the subconsciousness of our mind, waiting to be freed once again. I guess that's what happened to me last night. I cried. Well, silently of course! Don't wanna wake people up! I think I've cried myself to sleep cause I didn't recall I've stopped crying. So I ended up waking up this morning with swollen eyes. o-o Yeah, call me emo or stereotype me whatever you want but at least I have more emotions than some so called "humans" which are robots! At least I am true to my emotions and feelings. Hmm. Haven't been crying for a long time. Maybe crying is a good thing for me, as I can let go of all the problems and stuffs that I got going on that troubles me. It's either crying or I'm gonna choose letting my rage out? Well, someone's gonna get seriously hurt if I let go of my rage. Think I'll stick to crying. ;) At least I can feel like a weight has been lifted after that. Who knows? Maybe God will answer prayers that I've said while I'm crying. Hmmm. :')

PS: I realized that I have lotsa stuffs suppressed within me.

I gotta learn to forgive and let go.

Gambateh! :D

Addicted again! (❤.❤)

Finished watching korean drama "You're Beautiful" this morning. Wow. I finished it in three days! First and second day I slept at around 2 a.m. while third day (which is today morning) I slept at 1 a.m. so if you see me sleeping in class these few days, that's the reason kays? ;) And also the reason for me coming late for school and got my name on the BSL. Lol. >_< Enough about that.. The drama is really nice. Made me addicted watching dramas again. ❤ XD And it's been long since I've cried watching something. :") Idk why but I like the feeling after crying even if it's because of watching a drama. Yeah, I know it's lame or stupid crying for stuff like that but hey, at least that means the drama's real good! Hmm.. I think am gonna re-watch it again cause its just so so good! :D Love the four members of A.N.Jell (even though it's only real in the drama) T^T Gosh! I start to love everything Korean!! LOL! :P

PS: Tell me if you know any good drama!

Preferably korean or taiwan please!

Gonna love you if you tell me! lol XD

Sometimes when I'm in bad mood for no reason,
I just wanna be alone quietly in a daze and talk to no one.
Sometimes when uneasy feelings surround me,
the heart starts to rain and desperately trying to find a way out.
Sometimes I realized that people around me doesn't seem to understand me,
having to face them make me feel speechless.
Sometimes I felt like out of tune with the world,
the things that I insisted on just become nothing overnight.
Sometimes I desperately wanted to leave my present life,
just simply pack all my stuffs and go astray.
Sometimes when someone suddenly says that I've changed,
my feelings just start to tangled up and messed up.
Sometimes I just wished that time would stop,
so that I can always be in the moment that I don't wanna lose.
Sometimes when I felt vulnerable and weak,
I wanted to hide in the shadows where no one can see my wounds.
Sometimes I just felt like breaking down crying,
but the overwhelming sadness wouldn't let me.
Sometimes during the cold silent night,
I can feel the sense of loneliness deep inside my bone.
Sometimes the heart have plenty of words to say,
but I'm just clueless on how to express it.
Sometimes when I felt empty,
it feels like the whole world has just abandoned me.
Sometimes when there's bunch of friends around,
I felt lonely and left out in the midst of all the sound.
Sometimes I just felt like letting go,
to drunk myself real bad just for once.
Sometimes when I think about all of my dreams,
can't help but to think that I'm powerless to do anything.
Sometimes when I can't find things to busy myself,
the feeling of lost and emptiness came back to haunt me.
Sometimes I suddenly found myself,
being lost on my own.
Sometimes the heart feels weary,
and I felt myself dying of over-exhaustion.
Sometimes when I can't see myself in the future,
I become blank and confused.
Sometimes in just one night,
I felt myself changed out of old self.
Sometimes when I heard an old song,
I suddenly think of that one person that I missed so much.
Sometimes when people misunderstood my words,
the heart just drops into a deep dark black hole.
Sometimes I just got lost in old memories,
there's so much that had happened in the past that I still couldn't figure out why.
Sometimes I long for concerns and cares,
longing for a simple happiness even if it's just for a little while.
Sometimes when I watch the time slowly passing by,
can't help to feel that there's nothing that I can do and that I am helpless.

I can't smile like nothing is wrong,
talk like everything is perfect,
act like it's all just a dream,
and pretend like it's not hurting me.
I just can't,
cause that is not me.
No matter how hard I tried to hide or change it,
it just won't happen.
If I managed to change,
it wouldn't be me.
If I managed to change,
I would lose myself.
I would be a puppet,
controlled by a puppet-master.
A robot,
that has no emotions or feelings.
A shadow,
with no sense of existence.
A body,
without a soul.
A speck of dust,
fluttering aimlessly in the big blue sky.
In the end,
I would be nothing.

Cold and quiet is my nature.

I've lived with it for plenty of years.

So please bear with me on this.

Cause that's just the way that I know how.

Whatever actions that I've take,

that make you think that I don't care,

whatever words that I've said,

that hurts you unintentionally,

For that and everything else that irritates or annoys you,

I am sincerely sorry for what I've done.

I am sorry a billion times in advance to you,

before I do stuffs that makes you unhappy.

I'm really sorry.

From the bottom of my heart.

But one thing you should know,

although I'm not good with words,

I am always there to lend an ear.

Although I'm bad at making people smile,

I am always there to lend my shoulder.

Although I'm clueless and blunt,

I am always there to lend my hands.

Please keep in mind that,

whenever you needed comfort,

I'm just a phone call away.

PS: When you can't reach me in any way,

I hope you'll come to me,

Cause I may need your comforts too.

After all,

we're perfectly imperfect.

❤ you all. 

Panic!

OMG! Time passes by fast! School's gonna start tomorrow and I haven't done any of my homeworks and projects yet! And I also didn't update my blog during this holiday. :X Gosh! I'm such a lazy pig. >_< So I'm right now in the panicking mode and I don't  think I'm gonna let myself sleep tonight. Na-ah. My eye bags are getting more visible nowadays. TT^TT Hmm. Gotta go busying myself now. Ta-ta. =.="

PS: Gonna write soon after all these crazy things are over!

I promise you my bloggie!

 Love, because you are loved. 

Smile, because it is contagious. 

Laugh, because it is good for the soul. 

Live, because every day is a gift not to be squandered.

PS: I'm very sorry.

From the bottom of my heart.

To all the people that I've hurt.

Intentionally or unintentionally.

Please forgive me.

Promise I'll change.

OMG!

Just now when coming in the house at around 9pm, searching for the light switch in the dark, I felt something moving on my feet. I thought it was a little lizard or something and I told my parents about it. Just a few minutes ago, dad come up to my room.

Dad: Just now you got feel something moving on your feet right?
Me: Yea. Why?
Dad: Did something bite your feet?
Me: No, why?
Dad: Just now I found a snake at the toilet there. About six inches long. Maybe that 'something' is that snake.
Me: *(O_O) look* WHAT? Thank God! Thank God! Where is it now? I wanna see!
Dad: I killed it already.
Me: I wanna see it!
Dad: I throw it outside in the drain. Can't see already la.
Me: Oh. Okay. Thank God!

Yea. Thank God! If that snake bite me, maybe I wouldn't be here blogging this stuff now. Maybe I'd be in the hospital for snake bite. OMG! Soi dao just now! Still can't get over it! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

PS: I love you God.

Thanks for protecting me.

:')

On this day, God wants you to know that God is glad that you are You. Sure, we all have things we want to change, to improve about ourselves. But underneath the flesh and bone, you are an immortal and perfect soul. Always remember that.

-via God Wants You To Know (Facebook Apps)

A small town called Limbang

Okay. So I'm currently in Limbang. My 'kampung'. It was raining cats and dogs here in the evening. (o.O) We go outside to eat dinner. Suddenly the rain just fall heavily like it wouldn't stop! We had to borrow umbrellas from the restaurant's owner. Thank God they had them. :) Later we went to Limbang Plaza, the only shopping mall here. It's a small small town. We go to a supermarket called The Palace The Place. My mum always miscalled it as The Palace. lol. XD Stuffs here really is cheap! Super cheap! Extremely cheap! lol. Cause it's having a mega sale. Haha. So bought shirts for my brother and my cousins who by the way are having birthdays on the same day. I bought one for myself too. ^^ So here's some photos of the day! Enjoy! lol :)

It was like raining a minute and stop a minute and then start to rain again.
Silly weather. XD

PS: Sometimes I love rain.

Sometimes I do not.

:D

Imma DOMO Furreak!!

Okay. Phoebe asked me to take a photo of my new ❤Domokun❤ bag few days ago? Gah! What the eff is wrong with my memory?! I was busy so I told her that I'll post every ❤Domokun❤ that I have later/soon. So this post is for you, Phoebe! :))

Okay. GTG!
Going back to hometown in less than 2 hours. >< *panicking*

PS: I ❤ DOMO!

Listen up and watch this!



"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart."-Kahlil Gibran

"Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical."-Sophia Loren

"The difference between pretty and beautiful is: pretty is temporal whereas beautiful is eternal."-Unknown

"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it."-Confucius

"When you look closely, people are so strange; so complicated that they're actually beautiful"-Unknown

"Plainness has its peculiar temptations quite as much as beauty."-George Eliot

"Beauty is when you look into a woman's eyes and see what is in her heart."-Nate Dircks

"The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart."-Helen Keller

"That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful."-Ninon de L'Enclos

"Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head."-Garrison Keillor

PS: Just be you.

Cause nobody can be perfect, not even models!

Be happy with yourself.

You are beautiful in your own way.

We are who we are.

Cause God make us unique.

No two human being in this universe is the same.

Learn to love and cherish yourself.